second gear
by kinselllas
Summary: She's dripping wet, blond hair plastered against her face, veil askew. The white of her dress is nearly blinding and Dan has to blink a few times, needs to convince himself that this is not an illusion.
1. the one where Serena comes back

**A/N:** _What is this story, even? I've been marathoning Friends and it just sort of happened? This is such a messy one, guys. Very loosely based off of Friends but really not at all. Elements of How to Make It In America. Kind of Derena heavy? Idk. I don't have anything against them. I like their angst. Might be some Vanessa x Nate action. No idea. Clearly I haven't planned this well. Ridiculous. Idk what I'm doing anymore. Anyway, tell me what you think! DB will definitely have more of a build up in this one than in my other stories._

 _xo Gia_

It had been eight years since Dan had seen her. Eight years, and he hadn't thought of her, not really.

After interning with _The New Yorker_ for two years, he'd finally taken a job in the literature department. He spent almost every morning and every afternoon with his closest friends at the same quiet cafe right outside of Central Park. He had been dating a pretty girl named Nora for almost five months. His life had established a secure sense of normalcy.

Until…

"I didn't know where else to go."

She's dripping wet, blond hair plastered against her face, veil askew. The white of her dress is nearly blinding and Dan has to blink a few times, needs to convince himself that this is not an illusion.

Blair is the first to move, rising from her spot on the couch and running to her old friend.

"Oh, S," is all she says, wrapping her arms around Serena's shoulders.

Dan is still stuck in his place on the couch, staring at Blair's absence, wishing they could go back to ten minutes ago when everything was _fine_. Because everything was _fine_. And he still can't completely understand why Serena chose to come _here_ of all places and disrupt everything in his life.

"I couldn't do it," Serena sighs, brushing a few strands away from her face. "I didn't love him."

Blair nods and sits her down on the couch next to Dan, tells her that she did the right thing. She tells Serena that they are her family. Dan wants to roll his eyes. He is not Serena's family. He may have wanted to be, a long time ago, but that is far behind him now. He doesn't even recognize the girl he's staring at on that couch.

Or maybe he recognizes her too well.

As soon as Blair leaves to fetch Serena a green tea, Dan lets out a breath.

"Didn't see that coming," Vanessa says, without the slightest bit of subtlety.

Serena shifts uncomfortably. He notices her staring at her own fidgeting hands.

"Dan, listen," she says, voice soft.

He stops her. "Don't," he says, "It's good to see you."

Blair returns and huffs immediately, glaring at him.

"Humphrey, honestly. Scoot over. Did you suddenly lose your manners?"

He hadn't even realized how close he normally sits next to Blair in front of their friends until someone who is not Blair is sitting next to him. Although Nora had commented on how bothered she was by how easily he'd throw his arm around Blair or touch her leg like it was nothing. Even though it _was_ nothing.

He moves over quickly and finds Serena even closer to him to make room for Blair.

There's ivory lace spilling onto his leg and a small part of him wants to throw up. He can only think about elementary school and childish phrases like, _"switch places so I can sit by my friend."_

"So, I'll ask the question that everyone wants to ask but is too polite," Vanessa starts, taking a sip of her black coffee, "Serena, what are you doing here?"

Serena repeats that she couldn't go through with her wedding to some wealthy brain surgeon and Vanessa rolls her eyes.

"No," she shakes her head, "What are you doing, _here_?"

Vanessa was nothing if not loyal. He could still remember the night he returned from Brown, licking his wounds. No matter how many times they had tried to make it work, she could never give Dan what he needed in a relationship. Her thoughts were constantly elsewhere, her heart was elsewhere and at some point he got exhausted waiting for her to just want _him._ When he had finally put everything on the table, he can still remember the way she cried. The way she walked away and slammed the door behind her. Vanessa listened to his sob stories. Blair smoothed her thumb over his knuckles whenever he heard Serena's name. Nate took him out to get him laid as many times as Dan would let him. _Dan knew that on some deeper level, Nate was also doing it for himself. Serena would never fully love him either._ Now he can't imagine spending his time with anyone else.

"I went to Blair's old penthouse and Dorota told me she didn't live there anymore. Then I went to her new apartment, and she wasn't there. I knocked on her neighbor's door until this old guy answered and told me that she spends most of her time outside of work here."

Dan has never heard her sound so desperate.

"You made the right choice, sweetie," Blair reaches for Serena's hand and squeezes gently.

For the first time that afternoon, he sees Serena crack a small smile, "Thanks."

xx

Dan, Blair, and Serena walk back to her apartment and Blair turns on the shower, waiting for it to get hot. She breaks out her extra shampoo and body wash supply like the prepared psycho she is and sits at the kitchen table with Dan while Serena takes a shower.

"Humphrey," she says, without blinking, "Don't start this again."

Dan laughs quietly, stares at his fingers thrumming the table, "What is _this_? I'm not starting anything."

The sound of running water relaxes him. He's sure he spent the majority of his college career sitting in Blair or Vanessa's room listening to them shower while he read a book. And then there was that year that Blair and Vanessa lived together and he was practically their third roommate.

"Then lose the puppy dog look. Call Nora, or something."

Dan rises, rummages through Blair's fridge for something to eat. He'd lost his appetite at the cafe. He settles on a Mediterranean pasta salad and reclaims his spot at the table.

"I don't need to call Nora. I'm _fine_."

That word is starting to lose its meaning. He picks absentmindedly at his food.

" _You_ are the reason my grocery bill is always so high," Blair says, but the edge in her voice is lost. It was lost a long time ago.

He shrugs, grins. "Before me, you didn't even know how to buy groceries."

The bathroom door creaks open and Dan glances over his shoulder to see Serena standing with a black towel wrapped around herself. Her face is stripped of make up and she gives him half a smile before retreating into Blair's room to change.

"Vanessa hates that she's here," Blair sighs, "I don't think Nate was too pleased either."

Dan nods, shoves a bite of food into his mouth so he doesn't have to talk. He could care less that Serena is back. He refuses to let her consume his life the way he did for most of high school.

"I don't care, mom," He hears Serena say over the phone. It reminds him a lot of being sixteen again, "I couldn't marry someone I don't love."

When she finally hangs up, she asks Blair if she can stay at her place for awhile. She doesn't have any friends in the city anymore. Or at least, the ones she has, she doesn't want anymore. Dan is maybe a little bit proud of her for not growing up to be Lily 2.0.

"So, B," Serena starts, pulling up the last chair at the table. She has traded her wedding dress for a large teal wool sweater. Dan notes that she skipped any pants. "You and Vanessa are friends now?"

Blair gives a brief nod, smiles. "People can change, I guess. Once you get over all the incense and Keroac references she's not too bad."

Dan rolls his eyes.

"And Nate?" Serena asks.

"Lives across the hall." Dan answers and stands to toss his food in the trash.

He wonders what it must feel like, to be on the outside of a world she used to be the center of.

"That must be nice," she nods.

"Oh, yes," Blair rolls her eyes, sarcastic, "I've met so many wonderfully vapid women on behalf of Nate. Not to mention when he and Humphrey come over to raid my fridge for leftovers."

For the first time in eight years, Dan hears Serena's toddler-like laugh that made him fall in love with her in the first place. He doesn't have those feelings anymore, of course. Just smiles, and meets her blue eyes.

"We should do something tonight," Serena suggests, "Help me get acclimated to my new surroundings."

Blair smiles, eyes warm. "Sure."

Dan doesn't miss the look of concern she shoots him before rising to clean the kitchen.

xx

Dan goes home to take a shower and change into something more comfortable, then makes his way back to SoHo and finds himself outside of Blair's apartment again. He's never felt hesitation entering Blair's apartment, but today is different, for an obvious reason with blonde hair and a glistening white smile that used to take his breath away.

He pushes the door open to find Blair standing in the kitchen wearing a black lace dress, snug against her small frame. Her tights are black and her shoes are a suede royal blue. She turns to face him and her eyes light up with a smile.

"Hey, I think S is almost ready. Since when does it take her longer to get ready than me?"

She runs a hand through her loose curls and Dan laughs softly, shaking his head.

Insecurity flashes through her eyes, "What?"

"Nothing," he says softly, "You're beautiful."

Blair rolls her eyes and takes a sip of wine, "Shut up, Humphrey."

Dan hasn't seen Serena since freshman year of college and she has matured greatly in her time away. He can pinpoint the way she resembles her mother, the lines around her mouth, the way she squints her eyes when something is amusing. She steps out of the guest room in a brown leather mini skirt and an ivory blouse. She's still pretty, the kind of pretty that still gives him some semblance of butterflies.

"Are we waiting for Nora?" Blair asks, interrupting his thoughts.

"She's working at the gallery. She said she'd meet us out."

Serena's curiosity is peaked as she steps into the kitchen, "Who is Nora?" She asks, and her normal tone has seemed to return. "Does Daniel Humphrey have a girlfriend?"

Dan snorts, as if it's that hard to believe.

"She's just as pretentious as he is," Blair supplies, "If that's even possible. But she's kind of funny I suppose. Sometimes. When it's convenient for her."

He chuckles lightly, "Thanks, Blair. I think you've really captured her essence."

Blair does one of her little hair flips and leads them out the door, giving Nate's door a pound on the way out. He catches up shortly after.

The party they go to is loud and not unlike many of the other parties they go to. Vanessa approaches them with a bottle of Jameson and offers shots, which everyone refuses, except Serena who takes the bottle gladly.

He spots Nora's long black hair and raven tattoo on the back of her arm and excuses himself to greet his girlfriend. He presses a kiss to her ear and whispers a hello.

Nora's hazel colored cat eyes meet his and she smiles. "Did you come alone?"

"No, actually," Dan starts, trying to approach the topic casually. "I came with Nate and Blair, and Serena."

Her lips are painted red and he would rather just kiss her than have to have this conversation, especially sober.

"Serena," her brow furrows, "Like, ex-girlfriend slash love of your life Serena?"

"Something like that," Dan mumbles.

Nora just nods, cool as ever, and says, "Right." Then she walks away.

Sometimes she really annoys him. He doesn't bother chasing after her, knows she'll call in an hour begging to see him anyway. Instead he pours himself a drink and chugs it in a matter of seconds, then pours himself another. He follows that pattern until the room starts to blur.

x

"You're not honestly considering letting her live with you," Vanessa slurs, and the smell of whiskey overwhelms Blair's senses. She rolls her eyes.

"There's nothing to consider," Blair starts, "Serena is like a sister to me. I could never turn my back on her. Not even for-"

"Dan," Vanessa finishes.

Blair nods and looks out at the room. Serena already has men fawning over her and fetching her drinks. Some things will never change. She had seen Nora leave over thirty minutes ago and Humphrey was still sulking around like a mopey idiot.

"She's going to suck him back in," Vanessa says and it makes Blair's nails sink into her palms.

"Who cares?" She shrugs, "If he's enough of an idiot to get sucked back in, who are we to stop him?"

Blair takes in Vanessa's outfit, her oversized maroon sweater, leather leggings, camo boots and those hideous feather earrings that her friend insists on wearing all the time. She wonders for a moment how she got to this place, when two tasteless, pretentious, hipsters from Brooklyn became her closest friends. She knows it happened sometime soon after Chuck had kicked her to the curb for the final time. She had felt like she had nobody and for whatever reason, Dan took her in with open arms. Probably some weird loyalty to Serena. She never questioned it too much.

She watches Dan knock over a few bottles of champagne and takes it as her cue. In a matter of minutes she finds herself under his arm, supporting his side as she walks him out of the living room.

"Where is Nora?" She asks him, suddenly annoyed with how drunk he is.

"Fuck her," Dan spits out and trips over his feet, nearly pulling them both down.

Blair is exasperated. She knew this would happen. Dan has always had this terrible habit of dropping everything to be available for Serena.

"Stop it," she pushes him up against the wall, "You told me you wouldn't start this again."

Dan scrubs a hand over his face and lets out a long groan. He should call his girlfriend.

"Take me home, Waldorf," he sighs.

And she does.


	2. the one with the morning after

**A/N** : _So like, I just started this story and I'm already updating it? But I've enjoyed writing all the different dynamics and in terms of plot there's really nothing in this chapter. The only thing that I really think people will dislike about this story is just all the use of OCs. Nate and Vanessa have a sort of friendswithbenefits dynamic that is sort of cute? I think. Like, even if you didn't ship them in the show (I certainly didn't) I'm going to try and make you ship them in this story! Haha I am fun. Like I said, DB will be a really slow build up in this story, so I wouldn't expect any romance in the immediate future. They're inseparable bestie basically but Dan has so many feelings? He has, like, three girlfriends in this story. So moody and secretly in love with women and he has no idea he's in love with them. Idiot. Anti-Derena people be warned that in the next chapter he will probably get so pissy about Blair and her new beau replacing him that he'll turn to Serena for some love. I genuinely hope people give this story a chance, but I totally get that it's nothing like my other stories because there's no unrequited love or cute DB make outs (as of now.) But if you still take the time to read it anyway then I really appreciate it! You're a trooper._

 _Someone asked if this is going to be a Dan/Blair/Serena story and I think that's pretty accurate. His girlfriend is just kind of around because Dan hates being alone. I also kind of like Dan being a bit of a player and a sorta drunk asshole? It's amusing to write._

 _I think this is the longest author's note I've ever written. Got so much to say. Love you guys. I'm working on a new chapter for_ _ **Best Friend's Girl,**_ _so maybe that'll happen soonish._

 _xo Gia_

Dan wakes with a start, gathering his surroundings. A wave of relief washes over him when he sees his own charcoal sheets covering the bed. He hears someone shift next to him and he turns over slowly, a breath caught in his throat.

The raven tattoo.

Thank god.

"How are you feeling?" Nora mumbles sleepily, the sheet sliding down her body as she stretches out.

Dan isn't exactly _surprised_ to find his girlfriend sleeping next to him. But he's also a tiny bit relieved that it's her and not someone else.

He takes a deep breath.

There are few things he can remember from last night.

One of them is Serena fawning over a handsome t-shirt designer from Uptown.

The second is Blair shoving him into a wall with one of her typical lectures.

The third is gripping a fistful of Nora's hair as she went down on him at almost 2 in the morning.

Everything in between is a blur.

"Shitty," he says, cringing at the pain in his head.

Nora laughs, shoves his shoulder lightly, "You were a dick last night."

Dan isn't exactly _surprised_ to hear that either.

Dan and Nora had been fucking for months before they actually started dating. She was always asking him questions like, _where is this going? who am I to you? am I wasting my time?_ And Dan was always dodging the subject or giving vague answers like, _you know I care about you. I can't talk about this right now. just relax and stop thinking about it._ On New Years Eve, she finally gave him an ultimatum. If he didn't show up to her party by midnight, they were done. Nothing physical, nothing romantic. Just done.

Dan showed up at 11:57 PM.

And every time he gets a _little too drunk_ , he likes to remind her that she forced him into this relationship in the first place.

"Here," she sits up, reaching for her phone, "Let me play you the voicemails."

Dan sighs, "Please don't." Then his voice is ringing through his bedroom.

" _Hey, I didn't know Serena was coming back. I didn't like, invite her or something. Which you would know if you hadn't stormed out like a four year old. Please tell me why I'm explaining myself to you. Fuck you. You're immature and I'm bored of this conversation. Calling Serena now, bye."_ *click*

Dan groans and buries his head under a pillow to block out the sound.

" _Fuck, I was trying to call Vanessa to vent about you- ugh."_ *click*

"This is two hours later," Nora says.

" _Babe. Just. I'm a fucking mess. Come over. I'm- I need you. Come over."_

Dan pulls the pillow off of his head and narrows his eyes at her, "Well it worked, didn't it?"

She makes a face at him and sets her phone back on the nightstand. She is, admittedly, pretty, and Dan does not like hurting her. And yet, it seems to be a pattern that happens again, and again, and again.

The sun is creeping in through the blinds and he notices a few freckles over the bridge of her nose and for a split second she reminds him of Serena. He could never get over how beautiful Serena looked in the summer when her skin started to freckle.

Dan feels his own phone digging into his back and arches up to pull it out from under him. He has nine unread messages and three missed calls flashing on his screen.

 **Blair:** _You owe me brunch for taking your drunk ass home last night._

 **Blair:** _Sometimes I honestly can't get over the fact that you have a girlfriend._

 **Blair:** _No, really. It's astonishing. Mind boggling._

 **Nora:** _STOP CALLING ME_

 **Vanessa:** _Ten bucks you try to make out with Blair again._

 **Vanessa:** _Twenty if you try to make out with Blair AND THEN wake up next to your girlfriend._

 **Nate:** _Dude, could you be anymore obvious?_

 **Nate:** _Didn't know Serena was into sulking drunk assholes, but then again she dated you on and off for almost two years._

 **Vanessa:** _Blair just got back to the party. She's so annoyed with you. I'm laughing._

Dan scrubs a hand over his face and sits up in the bed.

"I should get going," he mumbles and starts assessing the whereabouts of his belongings, like his wallet and his keys. He spots a pair of jeans under his dresser and stands up to pull them on.

"What?" Nora's brow furrows, "Where are you going?"

Dan resists the urge to roll his eyes. He pulls on a black long sleeve shirt and grabs a belt from his drawer.

"Brunch, with Blair." He glances over his shoulder to gauge her reaction, but she's staring at her phone. Dan does, however, hear the deep breath that escapes her. He could stay and reassure her of his feelings, convince her that at some point he _could_ maybe fall in love again, but the point is probably moot.

She glances up and meets his eyes, "Sounds nice."

Dan nods, smiles. He leans down and presses a kiss to the corner of her mouth. Then he leaves.

x

Blair wakes up to Serena sitting on the edge of her bed, eager look on her face. She rubs her eyes and pushes herself up slowly.

"Can I help you?" Blair asks, middle finger scraping the sleep out of her eyes.

She reaches for her phone to check the time and it's already almost 11. If she knows Humphrey at all, he'll be at her apartment in fifteen minutes with a coffee and a terrible hangover. There was also that memorable time that Nora duct taped an icepack to Dan's head before sending him over. It took Blair almost an hour to stop laughing as they sipped Bloody Mary's.

Serena beams, "Last night was fun."

Blair makes a face and run's a hand through her hair. As late as it is, it oddly feels too early in the morning for this conversation.

"Yeah," she nods, "fun."

"So, do you know Travis?" Serena places her hands on Blair's leg and scoots closer.

Blair resists the groan that wants to escape and plasters on a smile.

"I've met him a few times," she starts, "My boss, Nancy, talked about doing a story on him but we dropped it because of a drug scandal."

Serena raises an eyebrow in that mischievous way she used to do in high school.

"Do you know if he's seeing anybody?" She asks, a small smirk on her lips.

Blair shakes her head and climbs out of her bed, pushing past Serena and moving to her closet. She pulls on a pair of sheer white stockings and throws a pale pink chiffon dress over her head. She dabs some blush onto her cheeks and paints her lips a soft rose color.

She can see Serena narrowing her eyes in the reflection of the mirror, "Where are you off to? You just woke up."

"Brunch with Humphrey," she slips on her flats and leaves the room.

Serena trails after her into the kitchen and takes a seat at the table. Blair wants to tell her to get out of the kitchen and go back to her room. She wants to tell Serena that she's probably the last person Dan wants to see this morning. She would really like to tell Serena that she can't just come back and expect everything to be the same as when she left. But she swallows it and pours a cup of coffee.

Dan walks in, seemingly already mid sentence.

"I don't normally consider myself a religious person, but I actually did the sign of the cross this morning when it was Nora sleeping next to me and not-" he stops when he notices Serena sitting at the table. "Serena, hey."

Blair is amused. "And not…?"

"Nate," he covers, taking a sip of his coffee. "Once was enough."

Blair laughs, shakes her head and stares at the floor. Humphrey is so hopeless.

"You are so hopeless," she says.

"Thanks, Waldorf. Shall we?" He extends his arm and she links hers with it gratefully.

They say goodbye to Serena and they're out the door.

x

Vanessa wakes up on Nate's couch to the sound of a girl giggling in the other room. She rolls her eyes and sits up slowly as they walk into the living room. The girl has blonde hair and big brown eyes and she is quite possibly the tiniest woman Vanessa has ever seen. _Wouldn't be the first gymnast,_ she thinks to herself.

"Call me?" the girl asks, leaning up as if she's expecting a kiss.

Nate just nods, "Sure. See you later…" his arm extends as he tries to place the name.

"Carmen," she huffs lightly.

"Right," Nate shrugs, "I knew that."

Vanesa snorts.

Carmen's smile is plastered on again as she leaves the apartment, the sound of the door shutting echoes through Vanessa's head. She's certain she drank her weight in whiskey last night.

"You know," Nate starts, sitting down next to her. Vanessa takes the opportunity to stretch her legs out onto his lap, "It wouldn't kill you to help me during situations like that. Change the subject or something. I _am_ nice enough to let you sleep on my couch."

Vanessa tilts her head and smiles at him. Nate is the cutest when he's saying stupid things.

"It's not my fault that no one ever wants to come to Brooklyn at the end of the night," she says.

Nate smiles back, his hands absentmindedly traveling up and down her legs. She had discarded the leather leggings as soon as she was in his apartment.

"And it's not _our_ fault that your apartment smells like weed and stale pizza," he counters.

Vanessa fakes a pout. "You _like_ weed andstale pizza!"

"Maybe I just like you," he shrugs, one hand traveling further up her thigh. She hides the shiver.

He leans forward and Vanessa licks her lips, thinks that if she just inches her mouth a little bit closer…

Nate presses a kiss to her forehead and laughs, hand in her hair. "God you're easy, Abrams."

And then he's up, pulling his shirt off and walking to the bathroom to shower.

Not more than two minutes and she's unhooking her bra, trailing after him.

x

"So you and Nora are…" Blair starts, after the waiter sets down their drinks. She takes a careful sip of her mimosa.

"Fine," he shrugs, stirring his bloody mary. "If the blowjob last night was any indication."

Blair scrunches up her nose and makes a face.

"Sometimes I think you're too comfortable with me," she says, "Have some boundaries."

Dan laughs and stares at the menu in front of him. He enjoys saying crude things to get a reaction out of Blair. It's become one of his favorite sources of amusement.

"Serena seems to be adjusting well," he says, with just the tiniest hint of bitterness. He hadn't enjoyed watching her hang on the arm of some hipster who wasn't, well, _him_.

Blair rolls her eyes and settles on the strawberry crepes, "Serena is Serena."

He wasn't sure exactly how it happened, that Blair had become the most important person in his life. She had become the person he turned to when things were really good, and also really bad. She had picked up this terrible habit of dropping everything to be there for him. She had done the same thing with Chuck until it nearly destroyed her. Dan was still trying to convince her that her selflessness was her greatest strength _and_ her greatest weakness.

"Serena is Serena," he repeats, and orders the artichoke benedict.

Blair's phone vibrates on the table and he says Bryant's name flash across the screen, which makes Dan's stomach do a weird flip. Years of friendship and the jealousy thing had never really faded, even when he was dating someone else. He had met many women since college; beautiful women, with terrible personalities or no personalities at all. Then there were the women that were so beautiful on the outside and just as beautiful on the inside. Dan had known three of them. Blair. Vanessa. Serena.

A part of him would never like the idea of Blair falling in love with someone, because selfishly, he didn't want their friendship to change.

She hadn't dated anyone since Chuck and when Bryant started showing up recently, Dan found himself constantly fighting for Blair's attention, which Dan was less than thrilled with.

"So that's still happening," he says, an air of casualty.

Blair nods, smiling, "I'm bringing him to Eleanor's party for her new line. Guess you have that night free after all."

He resists the huff that wants to escape him, as he was supposed to be Blair's date and was _actually_ looking forward to it. They always spent her mother's parties getting too drunk on champagne and making faux pretentious conversation with Eleanor's snotty friends.

"Great," he shrugs, "I can have that Clint Eastwood marathon I've been planning."

And for a moment it seems that everything is already changing.


End file.
